Thursday, November 10, 2011


I'm looking over some email, back and forth to facebook, listening to the sounds of carnage (MW3 came out this week) in the background on such nice systems that no matter where I go in the house there is machine-gun fire...and I'm getting a little headache, if you must know the truth.
I don't mind the constant gaming, it's a new game and they will need sunlight and fresh air eventually, at which time one boy or other will declare "let's go OUTSIDE for a while you guys, my butt's STILL asleep from yesterday!" and they will all go outside. Life will return to normal.
So what's given me a headache is a mystery, but it seems to be starting around the area of my left I lift two fingers to gently massage the area around my eye on that side. As I brush the skin at the corner of my left eye, I notice a strange texture -- vaguely lumpy...sort of loose-ish...
In a panic brought on by memories of grandma, grandpa, mom, and dad having had all sorts of "potential skin cancer" sliced off of their faces or arms at one point or other while I was growing up, I reached up with both hands and gingerly felt all over my face & throat area for anomalies. Panic turned to blind fear as I realized that this same strange texture is also on the outer corner of my right eye, and it's actually starting to creep down the front of my neck! I get up and rush to the bathroom, expecting the lady looking back at me to be halfway in the middle of turning into a werewolf or's just plain ol' me. And the horribly deformed skin patches that I felt around my eyes and on my neck...are WRINKLES. The "vaguely lumpy" feeling is the way a wrinkle feels if you brush your finger over it cross-wise. And the "loose-ish" feeling IS loose.
I just thought I would share this in order to save somebody else having to get up and run all the way to their bathroom mirror in a panic. Not a damned thing you can do about it -- might as well just relax here and keep surfin.'

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Fat fat fat fat fat fat fatty-fat-FAT and no "PH" about it!

I am fat. A big fat fatty, not "big-boned" or "heavyset" just plain old FAT. I'm 5'7" and 220 pounds. 219.5 according to my scale this morning, but I don't work with the half-pounds. This means I need NEED to lose about 70 or 80 pounds. (I'm also not a redhead, that was the color from early this summer that fried my hair, but I put this picture up anyways because I'm considering doing it again with a better brand of haircolor.)
Now, I've been hovering around the 200 mark since before my oldest son was born, a good 14 years. That's a long time to get used to throwin' this bulk around the playground. I'm 42, and I've THOUGHT I was fat my whole life. I've actually BEEN fat for about...let's say 18 years, because before my son was born I'd never hit a number over 180 on the scale. I haven't been a yo-yo dieter, except for if you count the time period after my 21 yr old was born, when I lost my pregnancy weight plus about 20 pounds and got down to 125 without even trying. Very skinny, and not healthy (I lost so much weight so fast with no exercise because we were too broke to eat. I'm not joking.)
So the last year or so I've been starting an exercise program. And a food journal -- the deal where you write down every crumb you eat and when.
Still starting.
Starting tomorrow. Starting when my husband goes back to day shift. Starting when I get better sleep....still starting.

P.S. If you are a woman in your early 40's, NOT PREGNANT, with 5 or more children, with NO NANNY, home schooling at least 5 of them who are under the age of 13, whose husband works nights, please feel free to comment with your advice. Heck, if you're that woman, you can friend-me on fb.