Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Cute babies!

Apologies in advance to anyone who enters their baby in one of those online photo contests. I'm never voting again. Talk about Spam, Junk Mail, garbage, scraps, ads, solicitations and any other word you can think of for a bunch of stuff that comes to your mail box that you didn't ask for and don't want. I'm even getting messages that say things like "you've won a new laptop computer, we just need your street address" and "looking for perfect love, foreign man wanting marriage with young American" AND "hot bikini girls! photos now!" in the subject. YIKES!
I mean, I should have known. It's pretty obvious when you have to fill out a ten minute questionnaire about all your hobbies, shopping habits and beer & wine preferences that you're doing more than voting for a cute baby.
Of course I'm not opening these. I rarely open any junk mail, if you're coming to my junk box it's because I haven't assigned you to my inbox. Which means that I probably don't want you in my inbox. So. Got that out there. LOL!
Okay, now I have to write a whole page worth of stuff about inoffensive things like fruit and face cream so that my ads don't show up with all kinds of ridiculous business. ;o)
I have a friend who's a balloon pilot, maybe I should write about balloons...we could talk about the risks involved in that kind of hobby, maybe? I just think hot air balloons are SO cool. I've wanted one since my first and only flight, a short jaunt over Socorro during our Socorro Balloon Rally (I think that's what it was called) a few years ago...just amazing. I close my eyes and I can see the city drifting by under me, feel the gentle upward push as our pilot fired the burners.
Like what would I do with a hot air balloon, right? I know. "Expensive hobby." And "what would happen to your children if you died in a hot air balloon accident?"
I have an ATV in the garage that I haven't ridden in over two years, let's talk about fast desert bikes! My kids ride too, and I ride slower than they do, so I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna die in an ATV accident. I miss my bike, my husband gets it out and zooms around the neighborhood now and then to make sure it doesn't rot...and he takes our boys out to Gordy's pretty often, their little buzz-around bikes get a workout. Mom's usually busy with day care kiddoes in the afternoon when dad's off work, so it's a boys' thing for the time being, I guess.
Boy, sounds like somebody's jonesing for the sound of a motor & throttle control in my hands doesn't it? I better mow the yard this afternoon.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Bloggin' blind...

Okay today I've got my contact lenses out and I haven't had a pair of glasses for DECADES, no lie, so I'm sitting with my laptop on the table and wingin' it. I refuse to stick my nose to the screen like an old lady but I seriously cannot see waht I'm typing and I hate to go back and edit things et the end, so for today whatcha see is whatcha get! LOL.
Please none of the old ladies out there take it personally that I said "stick my nose in the screen like an old lady." I just put it that way because usually when I have to do that, one of my children will come up to me and say "mom, you look like an old lady with your nose right up to the screen like that."
My kids think I'm old, but I haven't quite reached old lady status yet, thank goodness. And maybe I won't -- probably their children will think of me as an old lady, but our own parents are usually "not that old." Don't you think? Like once in awhile it occurs to me that my mother is the same age my grandma Coble used to be, and I'm now the same age as my mom, back when she was just my mom and not yet anybody's grandma.
One of the drawbacks to writing with no contacts in is that I can't see what I've already written...which since i've resigned us all to putting up with typos as they come shouldn't be a big deal...except that once I write it down, it's kinda out of my here I go blathering on and having absolutely no idea what I've said already...then I get word deja vu, you know, like when you start to say something and you think "wait, did I tell this story already? Oh brother, I hope I didn't tell this story already. Okay, they're looking at me like they've heard this aldrady, should I just shut up, should I ask them if I've said this already..."
A sweet little child around four years old (actually she will be five in September) just came up and put her little arms around my neck, patted my shoulder and said in a slightly muffled voice "Mommy, do you like sea food?" I turned to her, wondering what prompted this out of the blue, off the wall question in the middle of the afternoon. I mean we've just finished a snack, some of those bright orange artificial cheese crackers with peanut butter (I like 'em. I admit it. Shut up about it.) So I'm not sure why she's asking about food again but I turn and put my arm around her cute little shoulders and prepare my speech about how I really do in fact enjoy sea food, and maybe we can go look for some frozen shrimps or crab legs this weekend for supper if she wants to try some.
I'm just saying "Yes I do, I love sea food!" when, wide hazel eyes looking back at me from under those darling summery blonde bangs, my sweet girl leans forward almost forehead-t0-forehead with me, goes "GOOD! SEE MY FOOD! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" and opens her mouth full of mushed-up bright orange crackers and slimy-looking peanut butter so close and so wide I'm afraid she's gonna swallow my right eyeball whole! Then she runs away cackling like she's just played the joke of the century on me! And SHE DID. She got me with the "do you like seafood" trick. I don't believe I walked right into that one.
Disgusting, huh?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Children are basically disgusting creatures...

The sooner a parent realizes and accepts the idea, the more stress you will avoid over your career as a raiser of society's future leaders. Of course plenty of us grownups are pretty disgusting too. But as grownups it's no longer our prerogative to be disgusting. For our children it's a mark of normalcy -- if your kids don't gross you out in some way at least once a day, I think you should take them in for a developmental grossocity screening.
I also think that the most disgusting adults are that way because you never had the chance to be really gross as a young child. For instance, there are many videos and pix online that contain people doing really gross things like peeing on stuff. Probably what's going on with these people is that as young children they were never allowed to pee on their mom & dad's fence. This was a behavior that I used to think was disgusting and thoroughly inappropriate...until I had six children, the youngest potty training, along with 4 children in my home day care, one of whom is also potty training.
(I'm REALLY hoping the ad crawler will pick up on the phrase "potty training" and not just the word p e e. Please forgive me if they get wierd...but let me know if you click on any just to see what they're about! LOL)
Anyhow, a mom by herself in the backyard with 6 children in the swimming pool and two toddlers both hollering that they have to go potty could be in a pretty difficult spot, were she easily offended.
By the time a potty training child hollers that they have to go, they probably already went in the first place. Assuming they haven't actually peed their swimsuit, they will in about ten seconds. So by the time I convince the six happy, splashing swimmers to get out of the pool and each of them grumbles his or her way up and down the ladder, then out of the pool yard (fenced area around pool that we lock with padlock when a grownup is not outside) so that I can take the little trainees inside, both toddlers are screaming in frustration and wearing pee-pee swim suits. Soooo much easier (albeit disgusting) to yell excitedly "You guys BOTH have to go potty?! Wheeee! Take off your suit and pee on the fence!" Of course, boys and girls don't potty together around our house, so each little potty trainer runs to his and her own section of the fence. But about 5 seconds later they come racing back extremely proud of not having wet themselves, and nobody else had to get out of the water!
A humorous side effect here is that my little girl can almost write her name on the fence as well as my little day care boy...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Red Bull Energy Drink (Do you think they'll pay me for the ad? LOL)

So I'm sitting here thinking to myself "Oh shit, I need a Red Bull." Yes, I thought "shit..." that's my cussword. I'm really working on not using it around the kids, it's not anywhere near cute to hear "oh shit" out of a two year old when she drops the crayon bucket. It is cute, however, to hear the two year old girl screaming "DAD BURNIT! DAVY DON'T DOP MY TAY ONS!" at the two year old boy when HE drops the crayon bucket. So in mixed company I try to stick with "dadburnit" or "doggone it." Though sometimes "dammit" just fits.
Anyhow, I'm in the vicious circle where I'm just exhausted. I mean I'm "about through!" as Grama Jean would say. And I'm wondering if this little headache is a result of not sleeping or something else, so then if I drink my Red Bull will I get that little boost of energy and feel better or will it get worse? Maybe I'll just get a buzz and then a worse headache that will last all afternoon.
There's always the option of taking some Advil with my Red Bull, which in theory will actually help the Advil work that much faster. Hmm...that seems to be the ticket, doesn't it? The Advil would counteract any painful effects of the Red Bull energy formula, and I'd still get my boost.
Does anybody think now of that awesome song by The Kinks?