Saturday, June 27, 2009

Sleep? Huh? What?

One of the things that I would be writing about in my Home Fires column, if I were still writing for the Mountain Mail, would be the enternal quest for a good night's sleep. And the humorous effects of the lack thereof.
Morning showering, for instance, is much more fun (assume I'm talking about the kind of morning shower where you're by yourself, please!) with only one eye only partially open. Children will notice the results of your sleep-deprived efforts at hygeine -- "Mommy, this one spot on your leg is the only fuzzy spot, no wait, it's a whole fuzzy stripe did you do that on purpose mommy? When I grow up can I leave a long fuzzy stripe on my legs too mommy?"
Boys who are just starting to use products like deodorant are particularly sensitive to other people's bodily aromas, despite a continuted lack of sensitivity to their own: "Hey, Bran, come here! Mom's armpit on this side is kinda stinky but the other side isn't! Mom I think you forgot this side, did you run out of deodorant? I can lend you mine if you're out..."
What sweet children! Yes, honey, you can leave any fuzzy design on your legs that strikes your fancy -- and no, son, thank you for the offer but I don't want your pits and my pits that closely acquainted.
Which one of you people knows how to make a pot of coffee?

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