Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Children are basically disgusting creatures...

The sooner a parent realizes and accepts the idea, the more stress you will avoid over your career as a raiser of society's future leaders. Of course plenty of us grownups are pretty disgusting too. But as grownups it's no longer our prerogative to be disgusting. For our children it's a mark of normalcy -- if your kids don't gross you out in some way at least once a day, I think you should take them in for a developmental grossocity screening.
I also think that the most disgusting adults are that way because you never had the chance to be really gross as a young child. For instance, there are many videos and pix online that contain people doing really gross things like peeing on stuff. Probably what's going on with these people is that as young children they were never allowed to pee on their mom & dad's fence. This was a behavior that I used to think was disgusting and thoroughly inappropriate...until I had six children, the youngest potty training, along with 4 children in my home day care, one of whom is also potty training.
(I'm REALLY hoping the ad crawler will pick up on the phrase "potty training" and not just the word p e e. Please forgive me if they get wierd...but let me know if you click on any just to see what they're about! LOL)
Anyhow, a mom by herself in the backyard with 6 children in the swimming pool and two toddlers both hollering that they have to go potty could be in a pretty difficult spot, were she easily offended.
By the time a potty training child hollers that they have to go, they probably already went in the first place. Assuming they haven't actually peed their swimsuit, they will in about ten seconds. So by the time I convince the six happy, splashing swimmers to get out of the pool and each of them grumbles his or her way up and down the ladder, then out of the pool yard (fenced area around pool that we lock with padlock when a grownup is not outside) so that I can take the little trainees inside, both toddlers are screaming in frustration and wearing pee-pee swim suits. Soooo much easier (albeit disgusting) to yell excitedly "You guys BOTH have to go potty?! Wheeee! Take off your suit and pee on the fence!" Of course, boys and girls don't potty together around our house, so each little potty trainer runs to his and her own section of the fence. But about 5 seconds later they come racing back extremely proud of not having wet themselves, and nobody else had to get out of the water!
A humorous side effect here is that my little girl can almost write her name on the fence as well as my little day care boy...

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